‘Fox’ by Margaret Wild and ‘Cow’ by Malachy Doyle – teaching time adverbials

Fox when sentence cropped

Subordinate clauses relating to time are the easiest to teach, so they should probably be the starting point for any work on fronted adverbials. It is the least literary of all the types of subordination, being one that children actually use in speech – you will hear them recount things from their own lives as well as from stories using ‘when’: ‘When we got there, we had to…’ or ‘When Goldilocks saw the bears she…’

I can grade the picture books I use for teaching writing according to a sort of ‘subordination hierarchy’, or to put it another way, how literary the language is. Having said this, books that come higher up the hierarchy can still include lower level subordination, and ‘Fox’ is one of these. It includes six types of subordination (see Mog examples): those starting using a preposition, those starting using ‘with’, one starting with an adjective, a couple using an ‘-ing’ verb and one with a simile starting with ‘like’. The majority of the subordination in the writing is to do with time, and it is done particularly well.

These are the sentences in the order that they appear in the book:

Magpie drags her body into the shadow of the rocks, until she feels herself melting into blackness.

After the rains, when saplings are springing up everywhere, a fox comes into the bush …

In the evenings, when the air is creamy with blossom, Dog and Magpie relax at the mouth of the cave …

That night, when Dog is asleep, Fox whispers to Magpie, “I can run faster than Dog.”

But later that day, as Dog runs through the scrub with Magpie on his back, she thinks, “This is nothing like flying!”

And when at dawn Fox whispers to her for the third time, she whispers back, “I am ready.”

While Dog sleeps, Magpie and Fox streak past Coolibah trees …

[NB: Most, but not all of these adverbials are fronted.]

 

Margaret Wild uses time subordination in two ways: to situate events precisely in time, and to situate events in relation to each other. The time relationship can be ‘this happened at the same time as this happened’ or ‘this happened immediately after the first thing happened’. Often Wild does both – situating events in time and in relation to each other – at the same time.

If we focus on just those sentences of the type ‘this time happened at the same time as this happened’, and break them into chunks of main idea and subordination, we get:

 

Position in time – time of day, time of year More detail about that time Main idea
1.       After the rains,

 

when saplings are springing up everywhere, a fox comes into the bush…
2.       In the evenings,

 

when the air is creamy with blossom, Dog and Magpie relax at the mouth of the cave …
3.       That night, when Dog is asleep, Fox whispers to Magpie, “I can run faster than Dog.”
4.       But later that day, as Dog runs through the scrub with Magpie on his back *, she thinks, “This is nothing like flying!”
5.       And when at dawn Fox whispers to her for the third time, (‘at dawn’ adds more detail, but it is not separated into a separate clause with commas) she whispers back, “I am ready.”

[NB: ‘as’ is used in the same way as ‘when’ *]

 

If using these as examples, I would point out that either column works on its own – i.e. column one plus main idea, or column two plus main idea. Then guide children towards an understanding of how the second column adds greater detail and so improves the quality of the sentence.  (Click here for an editable version of this table.)

Sentences 3 and 4 are easier than the others. They follow the structure: time of day plus subordinating event plus main event.

The other sentences require greater knowledge as well as skill. We need to make explicit the knowledge that Margaret Wild is drawing on when adding this type of detail: she has an awareness of the time of day and the cycle of fire/re-growth in the bush, and how different things happen at different times in the day (or year). Sometime she expresses these in terms of how they can be experienced on a sensory level – e.g. ‘when the air is creamy with blossom’.

This last sentence is writing of the highest standard. It draws not just on great skill but on experience – experience that children do not have. They might be able to make reference to the smell of flowers in a piece of writing, but we would not expect them to be able to specify that it is blossom. And to describe the smell as ‘creamy’ – there are plenty of adults who couldn’t do that. And then, to use the word creamy in a phrase ‘the air is creamy with blossom’, requires an even greater level of skill.

Yet we can begin to teach primary age children how to do this. We can ask them to notice their own sense impressions and to include them in their writing. And children being children, what they can do with this will be limited by their own skill and knowledge. Here is where great children’s literature steps in to provide models of what can be done.

One of the best picture books in this respect is ‘Cow’ (another singular animal…) by Malachy Doyle. The writing and the illustrations take the reader through a day in the life of a cow, making reference to the time of day/year, the sense impressions of the cow and the actions of the cow. Unusually, it is written mostly in the second person – ‘you’. It also describes the actions of the humans on the farm.

I would suggest using ideas from ‘Cow’ to combine into sentences with an element of time subordination, as follows. First I’ll start with a table of ideas, ordered as they are written (a row relates to a double-page spread).

Time of day/year Sense impressions What cow (referred to as ‘you’) is doing
On a hot summer’s day (feeling) hot Grazing in the field
Early morning.

Dawn is breaking.

(sound) the first birds sing

(sound) the farmer whistling

 
Morning (feeling) sodden grass

(feeling) thick coat wet with morning dew

You rise from the grass

You amble to the gate

  (sight) sheep, pigs, gander, farmhouse  
  (feeling) your hooves click on the floor of the yard You enter the stall
  (feeling) gently the farmer cleans your udder You bend to eat

Milk is sucked out

  (sight) house, coop You wander back to the field
    You tear the grass and chew the cud, rolling your mouth from side to side. Pushing the food with your thick, wet tongue, over and over for hours.
Slowly the morning passes    
The day warms up (feeling) the day warms up

 

 

(feeling) a long drink of the cool, clear water.

 

 

Your breath comes hot and heavy from your broad wet nose.

You wander down to the river and take a long drink

The midday sun blazes (feeling) in the shade

(feeling) flies from your face

You rest, you close your deep, dark, eyes. Your ears twitch, you swish (your) long busy tail
The hot afternoon drags on    
Later (feeling) your milk-full udder aching You wait by the gate,
  (feeling) the cool parlour Lowing deeply, pressing forward
The sun has gone

The long, hot day draws to an end

  You’re back in the field
(illustration shows the cow under a night sky)   You graze, you chew, and you rest

 

You can then use the ideas, colour-coded or not (for colour-coded editable table, click here), to combine into sentences using time adverbs, i.e: when, as; while; until; after. Use the structures as in the ‘Fox’ text as a guide (so not all the adverbials will be fronted).

 

Magpie drags her body into the shadow of the rocks, until she feels herself melting into blackness.

You graze in the field until the first birds start to sing and the farmer comes whistling down the track.

 

After the rains, when saplings are springing up everywhere, a fox comes into the bush …

After the dawn breaks, when the grass is sodden with morning dew, you rise and amble to the gate.

 

In the evenings, when the air is creamy with blossom, Dog and Magpie relax at the mouth of the cave …

In the morning, when the morning dew lies wet on your thick coat, you rise from the grass and amble to the gate.

In the afternoon, while the hot day drags on, your udder fills and starts to ache.

 

That night, when Dog is asleep, Fox whispers to Magpie, “I can run faster than Dog.”

At midday, while the sun blazes, you sit in the shade and twitch your ears.

 

But later that day, as Dog runs through the scrub with Magpie on his back, she thinks, “This is nothing like flying!”

Later, as you wait by the gate, your full udder aches to be milked.

 

And when at dawn Fox whispers to her for the third time, she whispers back, “I am ready.”

And when in the evening the sky fills with stars, you graze, you chew and you rest.

 

While Dog sleeps, Magpie and Fox streak past Coolibah trees …

When the sun has gone and the long, hot day draws to an end, you are back in the field, tearing the grass and chewing the cud.

 

Some of these sentences (for colour-coded version, click colour coded Cow sentences) work better than others (e.g. ‘After the dawn breaks’ doesn’t sound quite right), and there are plenty of other possibilities. Notice how sense impressions can be turned into main ideas. Certainly children will come up with combinations that don’t really work but there is a lot of value in discussing with them why it is that they don’t work, also in showing how to make small changes so that they do.

 

 

‘The Lost Happy Endings’ by Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy – Ideas and Resources

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I taught in Reception yesterday – writing a four-word sentence, one idea, all words decodable using satpni, repetition using a writing frame…. And at the other end of the spectrum is this – writing in a literary style, using adverbials to add nuance.  I can’t say that I have a preference for teaching writing in a particular phase, but I enjoy the sense that the one approach (in Reception) is building to the other.  It seems distant when working with Reception children, but from the beginning, even when writing short, repetitive sentences with a controlled vocabulary, we can give them a sense of what a sentence is, the conventions for showing how they start and finish, and how they, the writer, can control them.

Writing in this distinctly literary register is of course not the only outcome we are looking for.  (And by ‘we’ I mean professionals who want to teach children how to write well, not some ever-changing end of primary-age outcome).  We want children to be confident in all registers.  The narrative prose of, say, Malorie Blackman, as well as the different kinds of non-fiction writing.  But I do think there is a particular value in exposure to and writing of literary texts.  And I believe, having seen proof of it over years of intervention with struggling pupils, that every child can write them.

Texts written in this style provide access to a world that only exists when words are put together according to its rules.  It’s unfortunate that the current iteration of the curriculum insists on the teaching of ‘fronted adverbials’ and in doing so has created mockery and resistance within the profession to something that is useful and important.

For this resource, I’ve selected four sentences from the text that include adverbials starting with an adjective (or adjectives, or modified adjectives).  I’ve structured it so that the position of the adverbial can be either fronted, embedded or after the main idea – children can see it in all three positions and decide which works best.

The resource continues with a selection of sentences with adverbials starting with adjectives, again in the three different positions.  They are all taken from texts written in a more or less literary style.  As ever, the resource is fully-editable so that you can pick and change as you wish.

I’ve drawn on texts some of which are out of print.  But if you are lucky enough to work in an institution that will let you get hold of them, or you want to buy them for yourself, I would urge you to do so – they have endless uses as well as being works of art.

The Power of Reading unit for this text has a (very) long list of perhaps nebulously connected books that they suggest you draw upon.  One of them is another book by Carol Ann Duffy, ‘The Tear Thief’.  It reminds me of ‘Jinnie Ghost’ by Jane Ray (illustrator of ‘The Lost Happy Endings’) as well as ‘The Lost Happy Endings’ itself.  They all have mysterious, magical interventions at children’s bedtime.  Jub and the Tear Thief carry sacks with almost-numinous contents.  The Tear Thief and Jinnie Ghost are not human, and they travel in and out of houses along an urban street visiting different children.  The moon plays a central part in ‘The Tear Thief’ and is integral to the appearance of ‘The Lost Happy Endings’ and ‘Jinnie Ghost’.

However, ‘The Tear Thief’ lacks the narrative and stylistic cohesion of ‘The Lost Happy Endings’ and ‘Jinnie Ghost’.  The writing style is not consistent.  I think Carol Ann Duffy was aiming for more of a story-teller register, sounding closer to speech, but she frequently lapses into a literary style along the way.  The way the story is structured is also problematic: somehow we don’t know if the Tear Thief has good or bad intentions at the beginning; and when the mother says to her son, ‘Stop crying or the Tear Thief will hear you’, we don’t know if the thief is some kind of bogeyman or not.  We don’t find out soon enough why she is collecting the children’s tears.  In ‘Jinnie Ghost’, in contrast, we discover very soon that the ghost is easing the difficulties that children encounter in their dreams, and this is continued consistently until the end in a lyrical but still relatively-sparse style.

Then we have a very weak problem – a little girl has lost her dog – when none was really needed.  It would have worked better if the focus had been on the way that the Tear Thief uses the children’s tears to create the moon’s beauty.  On the last page there is an attempt to pull these elements together – the moonlight, the found dog, a baby crying – all in a full-blown literary style.  The beautiful writing does not compensate for the stylistic and narrative problems.  I wonder if a Year 6 class could notice this?

Teaching fronted adverbials with picture books – ‘with’

Image from North, by Nick Dowson, Illustrated by

Click here for a PowerPoint with scans, examples and notes from a range of picture books – Leon and the Place Between by Angela McAllister, The Tale of the Mandarin Ducks by Katherine Paterson, Cloud Tea Monkeys by Mal Peet and Elspeth Graham, Fox by Margaret Wild, Fly, Eagle, Fly! by Christopher Gregorowski and North by Nick Dowson.

Ask children to look out for this way of adding an adverbial in their reading books, during Guided Reading sessions too.

Picture book author recommendation: Kathy Henderson 1 of 3 – The Little Boat

If I had to compile a Top Ten Teaching Picture Books I’m not sure which Kathy Henderson title I would choose because they serve very different purposes.

I love The Little Boat (illustrated by Patrick Benson, one of my Top Ten Teaching Picture Books Illustrators) for teaching what a sentence is.  I’m not fond of children being told that they should put a full stop at the end of a sentence when they might not yet have grasped what a sentence is.  Having done years of Literacy intervention I can say that, as we all know, there will always be children who get to Year 6 not understanding what a sentence is.  And of course the lower you go through the year groups, the more children there will be.

The Little Boat shows an author making a sentence last for a whole book – well, the text certainly starts with a capital letter, but there is no full stop at the end of it.  There are no full stops at all.  Each section of text is in fact defined by the picture that matches it, like this:

The picture here is not complete: what you can see above is the left-hand half of a double-page spread, and the right-hand side continues the illustration, illustrating all the detail mentioned in the text.  That’s the format of all the pages.

What I find so useful in terms of instruction is that it shows how a sentence can be anything the writer wants it to be.  Kathy Henderson makes hers a series of simple ideas – here, ‘the boat sailed out’ – combined with a great number of adverbials that both add detail and move the story forward.

You could use this section in pieces written on to pieces of paper- *start teaching* here’s the main idea (one colour), here’s a bit (in a second colour) that tells you where it went, here’s a bit (second colour) that tells you more about where they went, here’s a bit (second colour) that tells you where it went next, etc.  How many pieces does the author use to describe this picture?  Let’s put the words on the part of the picture that they go with.  Let’s draw the bits from the writing that we can’t see (like ‘the skim of the wind’ and ‘the silvery fish’) on the picture by Patrick.  Look how Patrick puts all of Kathy’s words in the picture.  Look how Kathy puts her ideas on different lines.  Let’s put these bits of sentence in a line.  Let’s put the part of the picture that goes with them above. *end teaching*

Then you could experiment with punctuation.  *Where could we end this idea?  How do we show the end of an idea?  If we put a full-stop here, how do we have to show that we’re beginning a new idea with the next word?*

Some of the pages mirror the list-type, close-to-speech writing of children who haven’t yet moved away from using ‘and’ to join ideas.  The text above continues:

and it bobbed by

a tugboat chugging home

from leading a liner

out to sea

and it churned in the wake

still further out

of a giant tanker

as high as a house

and as long as a road

Here, you could ask *which ‘ands’ could we take out and replace with a full-stop?*  You could then repeat with children’s own previous writing.  I like to make it explicit that *grown-up authors can change the rules because they have had lots of practice and they’re very skilled, but you still have to follow the rules*.

All of this instruction makes feedback so much more meaningful: you’ve explained what a sentence is, deconstructed and reconstructed it, mapped it against a picture – and if feedback references all this teaching it makes it less a mantra *Don’t forget to put full stops at the end of your sentences* and more of an activation of previous concrete learning.

P.S.  Where the Wild Things Are can be used in a similar way, though it does have more full stops.